So at the end of last year I did a wrap up post. It was mostly just a month by month account of what happened in 2010, along with a couple pictures here and there. This year I wanted to change things up and go a little deeper. The title of this blog is From Married to Merry and I wanted to kinda talk about how my journey to Merry has gone so far. There have been a LOT of changes in 2011. Some were good, some where bad, and some just happened. So here goes…
Well the biggest step towards getting to Merry was getting divorced. On March 29, 2011 my divorce was FINAL! I had to go in to see a judge about getting my maiden name back (that’s just how it works here in our state) and didn’t realize until I got there that my divorce would be final, right then. It was such an awesome feeling. When the judge okay’d everything she said “Congratulations. Or good luck. I’m never sure what to say in these cases.” I just laughed and told her it was a little of both.
It was a totally weird feeling. I was SO freaking happy to have all of this over and done with. The process took WAY longer than it should have (19 months) and I was ready. It’s still very weird saying “ex-husband.” It still doesn’t always seem real. Really, he’s not my problem anymore?! I hate that I’m 32 and divorced. I never thought this is where I would be at this point in my life. But I’m very glad that it’s all over with and now I can REALLY start to move on. Most people who haven’t been divorced, or had a quick/easy/fast divorce, just don’t get it. You have no idea how many times I’ve heard “But he’s been gone for a year and a half” when I mention just needing to be able to move on. It’s hard to move on with all the out there looming over your head. I needed it to be final. I needed my debit card and drivers license to not have his name on them anymore. I need to be able to say ex-husband and recently divorced instead of husband and almost divorced. March 29, 2011 was a good day.
The first time I had to see my ex-husband (how cool is it to be able to type that?!) was only a month after the divorce was final. We were both in my best friend’s wedding in Savannah. It went fairly well. I made sure to look super hot all weekend and stay as calm and happy as possible – I think I did a good job. I only spoke to him twice the whole weekend. I finally broke down after the reception when everyone (for the most part) seemed to ignore me because they didn’t know how to handle being in the same place with both of us. I excused myself from the post-wedding festivities and cried myself to sleep. I hated that I cried, but on the plus side it was one of the last times I’ve cried because of him/that situation.
My ex-husband still has a large impact on my life, I mean I can’t just FORGET 7 years of my my life, but I really need to work on not letting it impact it as much as it does. I need to move on and leave it in the past. Easier said than done right? But I’m definitely going to try. Put that down as goal #1 for 2012!
My love life since…
Well… this part is still kinda up in the air. The boy I was seeing at the end of 2010 just kinda disappeared after the new year. December was great and we even spent NYE together, but then after that I barely heard from him or saw him and then he just stopped contacting me. A couple weeks later he changed his Facebooks status to ‘in a relationship with <insert girls name here>” Well damn. So that was the end of that.
I really didn’t have any sort of action in my love life until June. I met a super nice cute boy at a friends house in early June. I decided to “man up” and friend him on Facebook. After doing so I realized that he was a bit younger than I was, but it was okay because I didn’t realize he was younger and he didn’t realize that I was older. We started chatting and I made the first “move” and suggested we get together and hang out. We’ve been seeing each other since then. Between both of our screwy schedules and him finishing up school it is hard to get together sometimes. Also, he’s not at a point where marriage or children is even on the radar so I know that this really isn’t a long term deal. We’ve actually talked about it before (because he felt bad that he was keeping me from meeting someone that DOES want those things right now – how sweet is that?) and both agreed that until those differences start to cause a problem that we will just continue to enjoy being together.
It is tough at times. I think WAY too much about what is next and tend to not focus on RIGHT NOW. I over-analyze just about everything and well, I’m a girl. I’ve let all that get in the way recently, but thankfully he’s the kind of guy I can actually talk to. So things are definitely back on the right track 🙂
My plan for 2011 was to run 300 miles. I ran 149.92. It wasn’t 300 miles, it was actually almost exactly 1/2 that, but it was still pretty impressive in my mind. I also ran 2 half marathons, 9 5k races, and ran in 6 cities and 2 states. I also improved my half marathon time by 38 minutes! Yes, 38 freaking minutes! I was beside myself after that race. The only downside was that I was there by myself so I had no one to freak out to. PLUS, cell service was all jacked up and I couldn’t even call my mom until an hour after the race. But I’m still pretty impressed with myself that I even stuck with the running at all. I’m registered for the Disney’s Princess 1/2 marathon again in February and I’m hoping to bring my time down to 2:30.
Well, this part of 2011 was not very Merry. The day before my divorce was final my boss fired me. I won’t get into it but it was probably for the best. It took a little while to find another job. I ended up taking a part-time job because I’d rather have a part-time job on my resume than just sit around collecting unemployment. Well here we are 7 months later and I’m still here. I love my job. I get to do three different things (at a minimum) each week and my boss does her best to get me as close to 40 hours a week as she can. The pay sucks, but I’m getting by. We are trying to get the big boss to bring me on full time which would be wonderful – guaranteed 40 hours a week, most likely a pay increase, and benefits. She told him that all she wants for Christmas is a Meghan – let’s hope she gets what she wants 🙂
This part of 2011 wasn’t very Merry either, but I think it all worked out for the best. My lease was up at the beginning of April and my plan was to rent a house/townhouse with a yard. Well as much as I tried I couldn’t find anything in my budget that worked. I ended up signing a 7 month extention on my lease. And I’m very glad I did since I lost my job shortly their after. A couple of months later my grandpa suggested buying a house instead of getting a rental. So we spent the summer looking for houses, ruling out short sales, and then finally finding “the one.” Well “the one” fell through. I looked for another apartment or a townhouse/house since they were raising my rent AGAIN. I couldn’t find anything that would really work or made moving worth it. Finally I just decided that I’d rather spend more money and not have to go through the hassle and stress of moving. I think if my job goes full time that I will start looking for houses again. The sooner I start the more options I have. So maybe when my lease is up in November I can move into my own house 🙂 Man oh man would Pepper love a yard again!
Hobbies and such
Running really has been my main hobby this year. I haven’t really scrapbooked a whole lot other than gifts for friends. Between the divorce and not having as many events/trips to scrapbook it just isn’t as much fun as it used to be. I know i’ll get back to it someday, its just not today. I’ve gotten back into making cards for people which makes me happy. I’ve done a few random non-scrapbooking related craft projects over the year and tried to sew a little more. I actually sewed a couple birthday and Christmas gifts this year. I haven’t really traveled much though. I mean I went to Savannah twice this year, but it was for Laura’s wedding and then for the 1/2 marathon. I’d REALLY like to get somewhere new in 2012. Maybe if I get the full time job (which will include paid time off) I can take a REAL vacation. I’ve also discussed traveling somewhere new for a 1/2 marathon in the fall.
I thought about making a Friends heading but decided that they would fit under “and such” just fine. I have no idea how to broach this topic without sounding awful, so I’ll keep it short and sweet. People suck. Lol. Well not all people. But I definitely learned this year who my REAL friends are. My friends that can handle that I’m not the happiest person in the world, that I’m going to complain sometimes, and know that I will always be there for them and sooner or later I will get back to ME again. I love them more than words can say.
Oh, and NO concerts this year! How much of a bummer is that? Bush came in Orlando in October but I had to work that night and I really couldn’t afford to go. So yes, more live music in 2012 please.
So that’s my year in review for 2011. Its had its ups and downs, but for the most part I think I’m moving in the right direction. The divorce is final and that was really the big step I needed to get things going again. I’m going to do another post on my goals for 2012, but the main one is to get back to ME.
As Laura said “2012 is going to be my bitch!”