Fall brings lots of things to mind for people. For some people its changing leaves or apple picking. For some people it is scarves and snow. For me, its love and relationships. Out of the last 5 relationships (and I use that word loosely as I’m not really sure that is the correct term for 2 of them) I’ve been in, 4 of them have started in the fall. Two in October and two in November.
So when the weather starts to change or it gets cool for a day or two, I start thinking about first dates and first kisses. I think about all the excitement that goes along with a new relationship. About that scary moment when you first realize that you are falling for someone. The phone calls, emails and text messages that brighten your day even if they are just to say hey. The endless thoughts about how they feel about you and where things are going. And how many times you change outfits before a date.
At first it is fun thinking about all of that, but then the reality kicks in. How it is fall again and I’m alone. How there probably won’t be any first dates, first kisses, or relationship related phone calls/texts/emails this year. I tend to reminisce a lot about things like relationships and this time of year makes it even worse. Thinking about the good stuff and the bad stuff. Having those “boy that was great” moments mixed in with the “what the hell were you thinking?!” moments.
Usually the good thoughts outnumber the bad and today is one of those days. Thinking about the guy that made me a pie, yes he actually baked me a pie from scratch, when he learned what my favorite pie was. Or the time that I went on my first real date after my ex-husband left. Or seeing someone for the first time in over 12 years and feeling that spark all over again. Or the late night phone calls because you are the only one that can make them feel better. Driving to the middle of no where to watch, or try to watch, a meteor shower. Or realizing that you need a billboard to know how someone feels about you, even if everyone else all ready can see it.
It is just amazing to me how walking outside and feeling the cool air can bring up all these thoughts and feelings.
Man oh man I want some pie.