And I don’t mean the kind you put on potatoes either.
My mom and I have always said that Pepper (my dog) got me through my divorce. There were so many days where she was the only one there for me. Days where she wouldn’t let me cry anymore, gave me someone to talk to, or just loved me. Today reminded me of all this when I started to have a panic attack. Yep, I said it. I started to have a panic attack.
I haven’t had a panic attack in awhile, which is SO awesome. I think the last one I had was in World Market the day after Thanksgiving (I have problems with crowds). When I first started having them, back before the divorce was even on my radar, I would have them while driving. So f’n scary. I got them under control for awhile but then they started back up during all the divorce stuff. Thankfully (I guess) they weren’t happening while I was driving anymore. Most of the time they would just go away on their own, but sometimes I had to “force” them to go away… and tonight was one of those times.
I had just finished watching the season finale of Revenge and I was trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my evening. I updated my Netflix queue and then was just sitting here with the dog when it hit me. I was NOT going to let the panic attack win, so I tried to distract myself by sorting my mail. When I was done I had to put some thing in my filing cabinet in The Craft Cave. I went in and sat on the floor to file things… and it just got worse. I didn’t know what to do. The only thing I could think of was Pepper. So I called her into the room. She sat on the floor in front of me and I said to her “You can’t let mommy have a panic attack okay? You have to make it go away.” And that’s when she started giving me kisses and “talking” to me (this is where she barks and no noise comes out). I just sat there petting her and hoping that it would go away. When I felt it hanging on I started to cry and told her that it wasn’t working, that is when she “attacked.” She practically knocked me over giving me kisses. Then she ran around the room and came up behind me and started giving me more kisses. By the time I was able to get her to stop, this involved a lot of pets and telling her I was okay… I was in fact okay.
Anyone who tells you that dogs don’t understand what you say to them is full of shit. And I’m fairly certain that dogs can read emotions better than people can. I do NOT know what I would do without my beautiful animal. She is my life line.
This is where she was the entire time I was writing this post. She knew mommy needed someone to keep an eye on her.