Up until now I haven’t said much about my dating life. I may have mentioned a date here or there, or talked about “the boy,” but thats about it. I just haven’t had much of a reason to get into it until now. It’s not that I feel like I should put my dating life out there for all to see, but since this blog is about my life post divorce and moving on I felt like I should at least share about where I am now and where i’m hoping to go.
Until 2 days ago I’d been seeing someone since last June. I guess we were dating, not seeing each other, since we were just seeing each other (no one else). I’ve been out of the dating scene for so long that I really don’t have a clue about these things. I knew going into things with him that marriage and kids were not on his current plan… he wasn’t even sure if they would ever be on his plan. I was okay with that and we agreed that as long as we were having fun and that the “other stuff” didn’t cause an issue we would continue seeing each other. Well it finally got to the point where the “other stuff” was an issue.
I want to get married again and I want to have kids. And I’m not getting any younger. I don’t want to be 40 when I finally get around to having kids. So after a lot of thinking, and a lot of talking with people who care about me, I realized that I needed to move on. As much as I enjoyed spending time with him, as long as I was with him I wouldn’t find (or even be looking for) someone that does want to get married and have kids. So as hard as it was, I ended things Monday night.
It actually went well. I guess since we’d had “the talk” before (on a couple of occasions actually), we both knew that eventually it would come to this. It was kinda cool cause even after I told him that I needed to end things we ended up talking about our silly pups and the tropical storm that just went through our area this weekend. How cool is that? We agreed to be friends (after a couple weeks of no contact to get out of our current habits) and I really think that will happen. He’s a great guy and it would be nice to still have him in my life. If he decided after a couple of weeks that he doesn’t want to be friends, I will totally understand that as well.
So here I am – 32 years old (almost 33), divorced for a little over a year (separated for 2.5 years), and actually looking for someone that could potentially be “the one.” I am excited and terrified all at the same time. When I first started dating I wasn’t looking for Mr. Right, I was looking for Mr. Right Now. Holy cow, I think that came out completely wrong! I just mean that I wasn’t looking for someone to marry, I was just looking for someone to date and spend time with. But now it’s time to look for Mr. Right. But where do I even start?