Meghan Monday

Over at The Green Scene Meghan Monday is awesome and crafty and fun, and sometimes even silly. But this is NOT The Green Scene. And this Meghan Monday is not awesome, crafty, fun, or even silly. It’s sucky, and painful, and depressing, and miserable. I feel like Eeyore with that dang cloud over his head. The only good thing about this Monday is that I’m dreading another day of the week even more. So at least Monday isn’t the worst day of this week? Oh wait… that’s not good is it? Usually at least when Monday is over you can look forward to the rest of the week being better. But the closer it gets to Thursday, the more I just want to crawl under my bed and hide there. I keep trying to think positively about things. At least it’s a step in the right direction. At least it could be the beginning of the end. But then I think back to how back in June I thought it was a step in the right direction. How I thought it was the beginning of the end. And here we are 4 months later and we’ve gotten no where at all. I just keep thinking about how I might have to see him. And how we could go through all this and not get anywhere at all. I keep thinking about how I could just shut down.

How am I supposed to get through this when its still 3 days away and I’m all ready falling apart? I’m so sick of feeling this this. I’m so sick of this taking over my life. How even when I think things are moving in the right direction and that things are getting easier, they really aren’t. It all just comes back and bites me in the butt. Let me tell you… my big ole butt is getting pretty darn sore!

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