The Reason I’m Done for 2018

I’ve been “taking off” the last week of the year from blogging for a couple of years now. I am usually off work and spending time with my family, so I just shut down for a bit. Give myself some time to relax and focus for the upcoming year. I’m doing it again this year, but for completely different reasons.

With Christmas only a few days away my brain is here, there and everywhere. Today is the last day of work for me for 2018 and I am BEYOND happy about this. I’d probably use a few more expletives if I was saying this out loud, but you get the picture. It has been a busy busy year at work and the last three weeks have been insane. I’m usually super slow in December so this month just hit me like a ton of bricks. Lots of days where I was in the office early and out late. Lots of days where I was dealing with WAY more people than I’m used to. Just a lot of a lot of things. I am SO ready for a break.

And although I’m ready for the time off and away from work, I’m not excited about the holidays this year. I just can’t help it. It is our first holiday season without my Pop-pop and it is just weird. For Thanksgiving we decided to do a bunch of stuff we don’t normally do. We went to the Daytona Turkey Run, we ate dinner out (something we have NEVER done), and then went shopping at the new outlet mall. It was a nice day and I enjoyed spending it with my parents, but it was still weird. There was no football watching, there was no cooking, there were no leftovers, and there was no Pop-pop. Just weird.

Now we are to Christmas and it is even weirder. My mom and I both were good kids and put up all of our Christmas decorations. My mom didn’t put up the big Christmas tree, but she put up everything else. (But I’m pretty sure I heard my grandpa asking where the train was.) Regardless of what we are doing for Christmas the decorations make us happy and that is all that really matters. We aren’t doing gifts this year, we didn’t send Christmas cards, my mom didn’t bake, we are going to a different restaurant than we usually do on Christmas Eve, and we ordered a pre-made meal for Christmas day. Other than eating I have NO idea what we are going to do on Christmas Day. It will just be me, my parents and Ozzie. Mom said that if the weather is nice that we are taking Ozzie to the beach. One of the perks of living in Florida I guess.

But my Pop-pop won’t be there. He won’t be there to gripe about only one person at a time opening gifts. He won’t have Ozzie sitting with him and totally being in the way while he tried to open his gifts. Mom and I won’t be sitting at the kitchen table late on Christmas Eve finishing his favorite cake for the next day. He won’t put one tiny piece of turkey on his plate and then load the rest up with sides. He won’t go on and on about how he doesn’t know how mom and I find so many neat things for his stocking. It is just going to be weird.

So with all the weirdness going around this holiday season I decided to take my blog break a little early and it might last a little longer than usual. I don’t want to force out anymore holiday posts or act like I’m super excited about Christmas. I want to enjoy the trip to Busch Gardens I’m taking with my mom tomorrow. I want to laugh about the fact that even though my parents are divorced my dad will be staying at my mom’s house on Christmas Eve. I want to take pictures of Ozzie at the beach and make all our friends and family to the north jealous. I want to stay up late and sleep in. I want to do whatever I damn well please – even if that is sitting on the couch and crying for a bit.

And please don’t see this as me looking for sympathy. My Pop-pop had an amazing life and lived it to the fullest. I was SO very lucky to have him in my life for as long as I did. But my blog is a place where I just get to let it all out sometimes right? I hope that everyone has a wonderful holiday and happy new year. I’ll be back in 2019!