So it has been two weeks since I ended things with the guy I met online. What has happened since then you ask? Not a gosh darn thing! On I’ve only had a couple people even “wink” at me and most of then were either WAY older than me or just not someone I’d be interested in. On the free dating site I’ve gotten a bit more attention, but still running into the same problems. And I’ve gotten no responses from any of the guys I’ve winked at. Is there really something THAT wrong with me? I even had my best friend and her husband look at my profile to see if there was something wrong with it. I tweaked a couple things and took out a section that he said MIGHT freak guys out (I tend to repeat myself), but for the most part they said it was good. So why no luck?

I’m guessing because the older you get the less options you have right? Most people have been married by 33 right? And if not, is it because there is something wrong with them? At least you can see if someone is just divorced, that explains being single at a later age. But still… just not sure what the deal is really.

Today I’m having one of those days where I fee like I’m going to be alone forever. I have no clue how I’m ever going to meet a guy, let alone a guy that could be “the one.” I miss hugs… from people that aren’t related to me or have boobs. I miss having someone to ask me about my day when I get home. I miss that excitement of a new relationship. I miss having someone by my side when things get rough or when things are going great. I miss having someone to travel with (shit, I just miss traveling all together). I miss having someone to bounce ideas off of. I miss having someone to care about. I miss having a constant source for sex (Oh yeah, I said it). There are so many things I miss. But there are so many things I love about being single.

I love that if I’m having a bad day I only have to deal with the dog when I get home (but I hate not having someone to talk to when I WANT to). I love being in control of the AC temp. I love not having to share my bed with anyone (but I hate that too). I love knowing that any hair I find in the bathroom/on the floor/in the tub belongs to me (or maybe the dog). I love only having to grocery shop for one person. I love that I don’t have to talk over my decisions with anyone else (unless I want to) – I just make them. I love being able to just have cereal for dinner because I don’t have to worry about feeding anyone else. I love being able to spend the whole night reading.

So some days I am perfectly content with being/living alone. And I know that one day I will find that special person, get married, and start a family. But other days, like today, the idea of going home to an empty apartment is crippling. I mean I’m all ready thinking about things I can do on my way home to delay actually getting home. Hoping that my next batch of True Blood episodes will be waiting for me so I have a couple hours of distraction. Wondering how in the world I will ever find someone.

So there ya have it. That is where things stand in my dating/love life at the moment. If only meaningless sex was enough 😉

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