It’s gotta end sometime right?

So the other night, I think it was Tuesday night, I had a horrible night. I don’t really want to get into it because the more I think about it (and how upset I was) the stupider I feel. But now that I’ve had time to think about it, I realize that it was for the best. I was hanging on to something that I shouldn’t have been. I should have jumped ship ages ago and this was just the push I needed. I got pushed right off the back of that ship!

It’s still kinda hard to let go of something, or someone, that you have been holding on to for so long… but I deserve better. I was living in a fantasy world. With the divorce on the horizon it’s about time for me to clear out all the crap from my life. I know now what I want and what I deserve. I’m going to do what I can, or have to, to make the most of things. My friend Jon said last night that 2011 will be the Year of Meghan, so I’m going to spend the rest of 2010 “cleaning up” so that I’ll be ready for 2011.

If you don’t have time to be the friend I deserve – then you are out!

If I am the only one making an effort – then you are out!

If I’m only at the top of your list when it’s convenient for you – then you are out!

If you think it’s okay to tell someone they are over reacting and suggest a xanax – oh yeah, you are totally out!

If it seems like everything else in your life (even stupid stuff)  is more important than me… well you better get your crap together – or you are out!

If I haven’t seen you in almost a year – then you are out!

It might sound a little bit like I feel like I deserve to be the center of the universe, but that isn’t it. I just deserve more ya know? I have some pretty amazing friends that I can count on and that make an effort, so why should I put up with people who can’t do the same?

I deserve more.

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